Swift to forget Your blessing,
hesitant to answer Your call,
and slow to start confessing
how badly sin makes me fall.
My face remains hidden
and this heart stays sealed.
With life lived as a midden,
may a tarnished soul be healed?
By grace, they say,
all of my errors and iniquity
can be washed away.
Oh, the overwhelming possibility!
Looking past my transgressions
and into my unworthy heart,
You love me without condition
and view me as Your work of art.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
Embrace.
Wow. WHAT A WEEK. I'm so happy and content lately that I almost feel overwhelmed.
I've had blessings fall out of the sky and right into my lap. I've got a new '93 Ford Taurus. Soon I can drive her. Just have to tweak some things. She's almost as old as I am. I HAVE A NEW BIKE. I absolutely love bike riding. It's one of my favorite things to do in the entire world. It's one of the only places I'm completely relaxed without any anxiety. It frees my mind. I can bike ride for hours on end. My old bike broke almost a year ago. My lovely mom and Aunt Denise surprised me with it. Speaking of my mom.... you are such a blessing. Our relationship means so much to me. I can't tell you how much. I finally have what I've wanted since I was eleven years old. <3
As a person I feel myself growing. Of course people grow. It sounds silly at first. But I feel like my eyes have been opened to see so much more. I feel like it's easier to love people. Even if we don't agree on things or we clash. I'm ready for what the rest of the summer is going to bring. I'm ready for college and it's challenges. I'm ready to be there for my friends whenever they need me. I'm ready to fall on my face if I need to and turn to God when everything overwhelms me. Let me remind you of something. I never used to be like this. I used to want to run and hide from God and change and the future. With time and faith though, I've accepted new challenges and change. Even the painful change. I know that whatever comes my way, whether it blesses me or makes me suffer, God is my rock and my sanity and what holds me together. Better yet, He makes me complete. With Him, I can embrace anything and thrive while doing so.
I've had blessings fall out of the sky and right into my lap. I've got a new '93 Ford Taurus. Soon I can drive her. Just have to tweak some things. She's almost as old as I am. I HAVE A NEW BIKE. I absolutely love bike riding. It's one of my favorite things to do in the entire world. It's one of the only places I'm completely relaxed without any anxiety. It frees my mind. I can bike ride for hours on end. My old bike broke almost a year ago. My lovely mom and Aunt Denise surprised me with it. Speaking of my mom.... you are such a blessing. Our relationship means so much to me. I can't tell you how much. I finally have what I've wanted since I was eleven years old. <3
As a person I feel myself growing. Of course people grow. It sounds silly at first. But I feel like my eyes have been opened to see so much more. I feel like it's easier to love people. Even if we don't agree on things or we clash. I'm ready for what the rest of the summer is going to bring. I'm ready for college and it's challenges. I'm ready to be there for my friends whenever they need me. I'm ready to fall on my face if I need to and turn to God when everything overwhelms me. Let me remind you of something. I never used to be like this. I used to want to run and hide from God and change and the future. With time and faith though, I've accepted new challenges and change. Even the painful change. I know that whatever comes my way, whether it blesses me or makes me suffer, God is my rock and my sanity and what holds me together. Better yet, He makes me complete. With Him, I can embrace anything and thrive while doing so.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Time is a River.
I always feel like I have so much to say or so much to write about. But then I go forever without writing. I'm going to try and set more time aside to write. LOL maybe people will read it more. I'm going to write about an observation I've made.
Sooooooo today I found out that my mom was in the hospital. She got into some sort of bike accident and ended up fracturing her leg. I went to visit her and made sure she was okay. My Nana came too. She's the closest thing I've ever really had to a grandma. We all talked for a few hours. I learned a lot about my Nana. Until recently, I haven't been seeing or communicating with my mom or my Nana that often. It's been kind of on and off for the past few years. Lately though, we've been spending time together at random. Over the years I have forgotten the importance of family. I've missed that feeling of closeness with people other than friends.
Ever since I've gotten home from the Alabama trip, I was kinda bummed. I knew that when I came home I would have to deal with a lot of change. I really extremely badly wanted to stay in Alabama for another three weeks with my Mud Family. With them I always feel welcome and there's never really any turmoil. If there is, then they deal with it in a loving way. That's one reason I absolutely love all of them. I kinda begrudged coming home and was whiny towards God. I wanted something and He told me no. Now I understand why. If I had stayed in Alabama like I wanted, then I would have missed out on a lot of things here at home. I wouldn't have been there for my mom. I probably wouldn't have had the chance to get close with my Nana either. I wouldn't have been able to spend any time with my brother, who I haven't seen for over a month. Even though things didn't go the way I had wanted, everything turned out fine and better than I thought. I'm really thankful for the time I've got to have with the people I love.
There's definitely a moral to the story. I'll tell you just in case you haven't picked it up yet :) If things had gone in my timing, then I would be in Alabama right now. I would have missed out on important events. Luckily, things didn't go in my timing. Rather, everything in my life is happening in God's timing. I might be impatient and question why I have to wait, but it's always better that way. No matter what or how long you have to wait, listen and be watchful for what God is saying. Don't be whiny and moan and groan and complain. There's always a purpose. So for the time being, be patient and persistent. Don't give up because things aren't going according to your will or how you thought everything would turn out. The most important thing is to have faith that He will always take care of you and make sure things fall properly and perfectly into place. Even if it's not the way you expected ;)
3 For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end
and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it will certainly come
and will not delay.
Sooooooo today I found out that my mom was in the hospital. She got into some sort of bike accident and ended up fracturing her leg. I went to visit her and made sure she was okay. My Nana came too. She's the closest thing I've ever really had to a grandma. We all talked for a few hours. I learned a lot about my Nana. Until recently, I haven't been seeing or communicating with my mom or my Nana that often. It's been kind of on and off for the past few years. Lately though, we've been spending time together at random. Over the years I have forgotten the importance of family. I've missed that feeling of closeness with people other than friends.
Ever since I've gotten home from the Alabama trip, I was kinda bummed. I knew that when I came home I would have to deal with a lot of change. I really extremely badly wanted to stay in Alabama for another three weeks with my Mud Family. With them I always feel welcome and there's never really any turmoil. If there is, then they deal with it in a loving way. That's one reason I absolutely love all of them. I kinda begrudged coming home and was whiny towards God. I wanted something and He told me no. Now I understand why. If I had stayed in Alabama like I wanted, then I would have missed out on a lot of things here at home. I wouldn't have been there for my mom. I probably wouldn't have had the chance to get close with my Nana either. I wouldn't have been able to spend any time with my brother, who I haven't seen for over a month. Even though things didn't go the way I had wanted, everything turned out fine and better than I thought. I'm really thankful for the time I've got to have with the people I love.
There's definitely a moral to the story. I'll tell you just in case you haven't picked it up yet :) If things had gone in my timing, then I would be in Alabama right now. I would have missed out on important events. Luckily, things didn't go in my timing. Rather, everything in my life is happening in God's timing. I might be impatient and question why I have to wait, but it's always better that way. No matter what or how long you have to wait, listen and be watchful for what God is saying. Don't be whiny and moan and groan and complain. There's always a purpose. So for the time being, be patient and persistent. Don't give up because things aren't going according to your will or how you thought everything would turn out. The most important thing is to have faith that He will always take care of you and make sure things fall properly and perfectly into place. Even if it's not the way you expected ;)
Habakkuk 2:3
3 For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end
and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it will certainly come
and will not delay.
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