Blind. The heart does not understand when someone is gone. When a person is no longer there to talk to, give advice, share a smile, or offer comfort. It cannot comprehend this empty void a person leaves behind. Nor does it know how to fill this void with other things or people. It cannot make sense of the moments you cry when you're by yourself or the nights you cannot fall asleep. Love does not recognize a grave with a name and connect it with the living, breathing person you remember.
Relentless. It does not cease when a person passes away. It does not simply erase or erode when grief encompasses a heart. It does not falter or fade with passing time, although the grief may. It remembers conversations and unforgettable moments shared with no one else. The good memories of a lost loved one cause unbearable pain and sorrow at first. It only serves as a reminder of what you are missing. Eventually, the memories will bring a smile and come with healing. The void in your heart becomes a reservoir dedicated to the love for that one person who cannot be replaced.
Eternal. Even though a person is not physically there to remind you they love you, they are spiritually present. Life does not end in physical death. The person you still love is living on but differently. It does not change the fact that we miss them or we want them to be a part of our lives physically. But it does give us hope to see them again. Hope we otherwise would not have.
This has recently crossed my mind because it is the holiday season. This time is especially difficult for people who are missing someone that cannot be here to celebrate it. I have specifically been thinking of Christmas. It is supposed to be a reminder that Jesus, God Himself, came down from heaven with a purpose: to fulfill the promise He had given to redeem a fallen world and give hope to those who feel its brokenness. There is hope in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. He overcame death after being dead for three days. There is forgiveness and life for anyone who asks for it. A love that is unconditional. Life after death and the hope to see other people again.
If you have ever experienced loss of a loved one, I'm sure you have questioned whether or not there is more to this life. For all of the pain and suffering we experience... there must be.
During Christmas and every other day I will be missing Allie, Aunt Sue, Uncle David, Aunt Mo, and especially Lisa and Nana.
"13 Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. 14 For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 15 According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words." 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Monday, December 2, 2013
Dear Nana,
Dear Nana,
I wish you were still here. I have so many things I wanted to tell you. I think in this past year I have probably spent more time with you than anyone else. Yet, somehow, it still doesn't feel like it was long enough. When Denise called me on Saturday night to tell me the news, my world stopped. All I can do is keep myself busy so I don't have time to think. Because if I think about it, I might internally combust and crumble. My mind feels like it's been hazy since then and I don't think the clouds are going away anytime soon. Suddenly, those notes you would leave for me when I spent the night are prized treasure. Your little scribbled "I love you's" on yellow paper are gold to me. If I can find any pictures of us together, it will be better than winning the lottery.
I wanted to say thank you for everything you've taught me. For showing me how to tie my shoes. The difference between "cheap" and "inexpensive." Everyone should have bright clothes and different jewelry for every occasion. How to appreciate the stillness of the world and my surroundings when we would bird watch in your backyard. That the small moments are the most beautiful and the ones we remember. To never judge anyone, no matter how terrible they may be. Always to be honest with others even if we're afraid to tell the truth. To be sensitive and patient with others and their pain. Sharing your stories with me over and over again. I could listen to you for hours and be so intrigued by the people you've met, the places you've been, and the things you've done. That family runs deeper than blood and is marked by the people who choose to invest in your life. For always being there for me and supporting me in everything I've ever wanted to do. I'm mostly thankful for your unconditional love and understanding.
I know you don't want me or anyone else to be sad. It's just so hard because you are so loved and such an extraordinary woman. Going to your funeral will be one of the worst days of my life. It will make everything seem so final. Almost like a last goodbye. But that's why I wanted to write to you. Because even though you aren't physically here anymore, the footprints you've left all over my heart always will be. And because I don't think death is final, I hope to see you again someday. I hope a day will come when I can think of you and it won't hurt anymore. That I can simply smile and share a memory of you or one of your words of wisdom. You'll be in my thoughts everyday and my heart for eternity. I miss you and love you.
Until we can meet again,
Stephie
I wish you were still here. I have so many things I wanted to tell you. I think in this past year I have probably spent more time with you than anyone else. Yet, somehow, it still doesn't feel like it was long enough. When Denise called me on Saturday night to tell me the news, my world stopped. All I can do is keep myself busy so I don't have time to think. Because if I think about it, I might internally combust and crumble. My mind feels like it's been hazy since then and I don't think the clouds are going away anytime soon. Suddenly, those notes you would leave for me when I spent the night are prized treasure. Your little scribbled "I love you's" on yellow paper are gold to me. If I can find any pictures of us together, it will be better than winning the lottery.
I wanted to say thank you for everything you've taught me. For showing me how to tie my shoes. The difference between "cheap" and "inexpensive." Everyone should have bright clothes and different jewelry for every occasion. How to appreciate the stillness of the world and my surroundings when we would bird watch in your backyard. That the small moments are the most beautiful and the ones we remember. To never judge anyone, no matter how terrible they may be. Always to be honest with others even if we're afraid to tell the truth. To be sensitive and patient with others and their pain. Sharing your stories with me over and over again. I could listen to you for hours and be so intrigued by the people you've met, the places you've been, and the things you've done. That family runs deeper than blood and is marked by the people who choose to invest in your life. For always being there for me and supporting me in everything I've ever wanted to do. I'm mostly thankful for your unconditional love and understanding.
I know you don't want me or anyone else to be sad. It's just so hard because you are so loved and such an extraordinary woman. Going to your funeral will be one of the worst days of my life. It will make everything seem so final. Almost like a last goodbye. But that's why I wanted to write to you. Because even though you aren't physically here anymore, the footprints you've left all over my heart always will be. And because I don't think death is final, I hope to see you again someday. I hope a day will come when I can think of you and it won't hurt anymore. That I can simply smile and share a memory of you or one of your words of wisdom. You'll be in my thoughts everyday and my heart for eternity. I miss you and love you.
Until we can meet again,
Stephie
Thursday, March 28, 2013
=
I would really like to say something to both points of view about marriage equality. I realize this is a very touchy subject that may spark debate. I am please asking that any comments are not negative, malicious, or rude.
To Christians: This has most likely ruffled your feathers or made you uncomfortable. In an attempt to stick up for your beliefs, you have trampled over other people. Many Christian's are reacting in a non-Christ-like manner. If you are commenting on people's "=" pictures or their pages with Bible quotes: just stop it. You are quoting Bible verses to someone that feels like it has no authority over their lives. Especially if you are just googling bible verses on homosexuality and picking the first one you find in Deuteronomy or Leviticus. Also, quit saying things like "abomination to God." You are in no position to say those kinds of hateful phrases to anyone. Yes, talk to others about your convictions but do not condemn someone or be judgmental in the process.
What really aggravates me is that this is the only topic Christians feel the need to address. What about sex before marriage? or divorce? or tithing? or not being drunk? or helping the poor, widow, and orphan? You like to say "all sins are equal in the eyes of God. Homosexuality is just as bad as having sex before marriage, or being unfaithful, or etc." You may be able to acknowledge this with your mind but you do not believe that in your heart. If you did, then you would not focus all of your attention on this topic and ignore all of the other things the Bible talks about. It's so easy to pick and choose which beliefs you want to stick up for. You find satisfaction in telling someone they're wrong for loving someone of the same-sex while you ignore the fact that you get drunk every weekend or have pre-marital sex all the time or are prideful. American-Christians have made being gay such a cultural taboo that they think it's okay to openly condemn homosexuality and make it seem worse than other things that people struggle with. Is that something Jesus would do? NO. After all, he did hang out with prostitutes and tax collectors and lepers. He rebuked the self-righteous Pharisees that oppressed the poor, widow, and orphan more than he rebuked the prostitute or other people society looks down on. Take a look in your overly-pious mirror and recognize there is a plank in your eye before you yell about the speck in someone else's eye.
In all truthfulness, it should not be such a crisis if the DOMA law changes. Biblical marriage is defined as a union between one man and one woman and Bill Clinton made this apply to American Law in 1996 with DOMA. However, America is not a Christian nation. There is a separation between Church and State. While your religious beliefs should show in your political beliefs, you have to understand that you cannot legislate morality. You cannot legislate anyone's morality. Whether or not something is a law in America does not make something right or wrong. You can live in America and be a Christian. Regardless of what American law legislates, the Constitution is not the highest law of the land for Christians. If you believe you are under God's law, then practice it. But you need to keep in mind that God's law is not acknowledged by everyone. For people who aren't Christian, they live by the Constitution. Throwing Bible verses at them won't make them change their beliefs. You need to recognize that we are all human beings. You are no better than anyone else. Know that this is the generation same-sex marriage will be legalized. And even if it wasn't, same-sex couples will still exist and be completely open about their relationships. As a Christian, what are you going to do about it? I hope you follow Jesus' greatest commandment: love your neighbor as yourself.
To LGBT and supporters: It is awesome that you are sticking up for your beliefs. DOMA will most likely be repealed and federal law will eventually acknowledge same-sex marriages. The next generation won't see it as a cultural taboo. People are going to be accepting and more loving.
For anyone who has had a bad encounter with a Christian, I'd like to apologize. I understand that it's frustrating to have these hypocritical and self-righteous people try to preach at you or throw Bible verses at you. It's understanding that you don't care to know about God and or their belief in fairy tales. But I would just like to ask for you to be understanding too. A few bad eggs doesn't mean that all Christians are rotten homophobes. There are Christians who have gay friends or family members and genuinely love them without looking at them differently. A few dumb Christians shouldn't get to represent the beliefs of all Christians.
Lately I've been seeing these posts about verses from the Old Testament and ending in a quote saying, "Don't tell others how to live if you can't even follow your own shitty beliefs." Christians don't follow the laws in the Old Testament because they get updated in the New Testament through Jesus' teachings. Quoting radical laws from the Old Testament as a way to slap Christians in the face and make them seem stupid isn't fair. It's talked about in the New Testament and that's where they get their idea of marriage. There are those intolerant, stupid Christians who throw arguments at you and say people will eventually start marrying their cats after same-sex marriage is passed. But it's just as intolerant to say Christian's have shitty beliefs before you actually see what the majority of Christians believe. Ignore the rude Christians that try to shove Scripture down your throat. But at least give the benefit of the doubt to other Christians who aren't like that.
To both: The whole point of this blog is to try and get both sides to be more understanding. It's wrong on either side to be disrespectful towards the other persons beliefs. You don't necessarily have to agree with each other, but that shouldn't make you be rude or condescending. Bashing the other side's view doesn't make yours look better. Simply learn to love one another despite your differences.
To Christians: This has most likely ruffled your feathers or made you uncomfortable. In an attempt to stick up for your beliefs, you have trampled over other people. Many Christian's are reacting in a non-Christ-like manner. If you are commenting on people's "=" pictures or their pages with Bible quotes: just stop it. You are quoting Bible verses to someone that feels like it has no authority over their lives. Especially if you are just googling bible verses on homosexuality and picking the first one you find in Deuteronomy or Leviticus. Also, quit saying things like "abomination to God." You are in no position to say those kinds of hateful phrases to anyone. Yes, talk to others about your convictions but do not condemn someone or be judgmental in the process.
What really aggravates me is that this is the only topic Christians feel the need to address. What about sex before marriage? or divorce? or tithing? or not being drunk? or helping the poor, widow, and orphan? You like to say "all sins are equal in the eyes of God. Homosexuality is just as bad as having sex before marriage, or being unfaithful, or etc." You may be able to acknowledge this with your mind but you do not believe that in your heart. If you did, then you would not focus all of your attention on this topic and ignore all of the other things the Bible talks about. It's so easy to pick and choose which beliefs you want to stick up for. You find satisfaction in telling someone they're wrong for loving someone of the same-sex while you ignore the fact that you get drunk every weekend or have pre-marital sex all the time or are prideful. American-Christians have made being gay such a cultural taboo that they think it's okay to openly condemn homosexuality and make it seem worse than other things that people struggle with. Is that something Jesus would do? NO. After all, he did hang out with prostitutes and tax collectors and lepers. He rebuked the self-righteous Pharisees that oppressed the poor, widow, and orphan more than he rebuked the prostitute or other people society looks down on. Take a look in your overly-pious mirror and recognize there is a plank in your eye before you yell about the speck in someone else's eye.
In all truthfulness, it should not be such a crisis if the DOMA law changes. Biblical marriage is defined as a union between one man and one woman and Bill Clinton made this apply to American Law in 1996 with DOMA. However, America is not a Christian nation. There is a separation between Church and State. While your religious beliefs should show in your political beliefs, you have to understand that you cannot legislate morality. You cannot legislate anyone's morality. Whether or not something is a law in America does not make something right or wrong. You can live in America and be a Christian. Regardless of what American law legislates, the Constitution is not the highest law of the land for Christians. If you believe you are under God's law, then practice it. But you need to keep in mind that God's law is not acknowledged by everyone. For people who aren't Christian, they live by the Constitution. Throwing Bible verses at them won't make them change their beliefs. You need to recognize that we are all human beings. You are no better than anyone else. Know that this is the generation same-sex marriage will be legalized. And even if it wasn't, same-sex couples will still exist and be completely open about their relationships. As a Christian, what are you going to do about it? I hope you follow Jesus' greatest commandment: love your neighbor as yourself.
To LGBT and supporters: It is awesome that you are sticking up for your beliefs. DOMA will most likely be repealed and federal law will eventually acknowledge same-sex marriages. The next generation won't see it as a cultural taboo. People are going to be accepting and more loving.
For anyone who has had a bad encounter with a Christian, I'd like to apologize. I understand that it's frustrating to have these hypocritical and self-righteous people try to preach at you or throw Bible verses at you. It's understanding that you don't care to know about God and or their belief in fairy tales. But I would just like to ask for you to be understanding too. A few bad eggs doesn't mean that all Christians are rotten homophobes. There are Christians who have gay friends or family members and genuinely love them without looking at them differently. A few dumb Christians shouldn't get to represent the beliefs of all Christians.
Lately I've been seeing these posts about verses from the Old Testament and ending in a quote saying, "Don't tell others how to live if you can't even follow your own shitty beliefs." Christians don't follow the laws in the Old Testament because they get updated in the New Testament through Jesus' teachings. Quoting radical laws from the Old Testament as a way to slap Christians in the face and make them seem stupid isn't fair. It's talked about in the New Testament and that's where they get their idea of marriage. There are those intolerant, stupid Christians who throw arguments at you and say people will eventually start marrying their cats after same-sex marriage is passed. But it's just as intolerant to say Christian's have shitty beliefs before you actually see what the majority of Christians believe. Ignore the rude Christians that try to shove Scripture down your throat. But at least give the benefit of the doubt to other Christians who aren't like that.
To both: The whole point of this blog is to try and get both sides to be more understanding. It's wrong on either side to be disrespectful towards the other persons beliefs. You don't necessarily have to agree with each other, but that shouldn't make you be rude or condescending. Bashing the other side's view doesn't make yours look better. Simply learn to love one another despite your differences.
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