Are You Listening?

I just read an article on Yahoo about a high school shooting that happened in Ohio. Five students were shot. Four of them were injured but one of the students have already died. The shooter was a Junior. They described him as quiet and goth. He had tweeted that he was going to bring a gun to school the next day. He posted that on the Internet. In plain sight. Where people could read it. And react to it. The problem?

  NO ONE TOOK HIM SERIOUSLY. 

This entire tragedy could have been prevented. Clearly, this boy was crying out for help. No one had listened to him. No one responded to him. So, he made them listen. In a horrible way. Other people paid the price. A high school student died because of other people's silence. The shooter is lost too. This is nothing but a tragedy.

What if someone had tried talking to him? It may have made a difference. Maybe he wouldn't have gone to such drastic measures to get someone to listen to him. Someone would not have died. All it would have taken was for someone to reach out to this quiet kid. To have compassion and an open ear. But no one did. And probably because they thought this goth kid was weird or not worth their time. Oh how wrong they were.

Every human being is worth something. I don't care if you think they're weird or annoying or funny looking. Every single person has a voice that needs to be heard by someone else. There are so many people around you crying out for help. So many people who are broken and doing anything to let others know that they need help and love. They need to be loved. They shouldn't be overlooked for any reason. We need to take action. Stop and look around you. Are you listening?

Rain and Sunshine.

Aren't we all promised a peaceful, comfortable life? Didn't God promise there will only be smiles? If so, then why do we have to suffer?

My friends, we were never promised that things would be easy peasy. Sometimes we are required to go through times of hardship. We suffer and cry and feel despair. Our faith is tested and we don't always know what to do. Whether we should scream or fall to our knees. Well, there are two ways to react during suffering: play the victim or accept it.

The first reaction is what many, many people choose. We like to play the victim. We ask God why He is putting us through something so terrible that we cannot bear. We simply give up and do not see the point in it. We feel that there is no reason behind suffering and we throw ourselves a pity party. We feel like life is not fair and that we don't deserve this. Simply, we become Suffering's angry victims that turn away from God. The second reaction is acceptance. We accept the situation that inflicted the pain. We may ask the reason for the pain, but we do not remain angry over it. We believe that this pain is not for nothing. We believe that this pain has purpose. We cling to God knowing He will wipe away our tears.

Which reaction is the correct response? The second one: reacting to pain and suffering with acceptance. Truthfully, God did not promise us a life that would only bring smiles. There is sunshine as well as rain. Life consists of good and bad. It is our choice to do what we want with pain that we are given. While we are going through pain, we become blind. We are consumed by our emotions and by the circumstances. Although you are temporarily knocked down, get back up. Don't let your pain and suffering get the best of you.

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 'Make level paths for your feet', so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed." Hebrews 12:11-12

It is so easy to be happy when everything is going the way we want. It is when some trial is thrown into our life that we cease being happy. I implore you to try and see a bigger picture. Although the purpose is not in front of you, you will come to see it. One day. But you can make the choice, right now, to accept it and turn it into something positive. To grow from it. As much as we don't like going through pain and suffering, we will always learn something from it. For accepting things as they are, we build find peace rather than anger. After we successfully endure suffering, there is a sense of triumph. Faith allows us to look forward to that triumph. Despite the circumstances, there is hope, always.

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." Romans 5:1-4

Now.

Happy February! I haven't been posting as much as I've wanted to. This semester is crazy busy. But worth it.

Every single person has something that they desire. Something that just seems so out of reach. We are never perfectly content with what we have. There's always that extra little thing we "need". A lot of the time we want things that we just can't have. It isn't meant for us at this specific moment in time. Personally, there are some things that I desire with huge pieces of my heart. Things I can't control. Things I can't decide to just have or happen in spite of how much I yearn for it. What I've learned the most so far this semester: 
                                           Enjoy the things you have now. 

To not live with regret about the past, experiences you can't erase, and decisions you can't remake. When you dwell in the past, you are preventing yourself from moving forward. You are so caught up in what happened that you hinder yourself. Instead of living in the past, learn from your mistakes or experiences. Accept what happened. Turn them into something good that can be used to benefit yourself or other people. If you stay in the past, you will miss out on the present. 

To not worry and obsess over the future that cannot be controlled or foreseen. People my age do this like it's a hobby. We're so young and have our whole lives ahead of us. We wonder where we're going to live, what job we'll have, who we're going to marry. And some people literally obsess over these things. They are important to think about. But don't OVER think it. A lot of disappointment happens when things don't go as we planned. Truthfully, things rarely unfold the way we thought they would. Of course it's important to make goals and aspire to do things in the future. But keep it flexible. Don't base your whole entire life or future off of a plan. "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps" Proverbs 16:9 is painted on my wall to remind me of this. If you focus on the future too much, you will miss out on the present. 

We can't let regret about the past or uncertainty about the future keep us from living in the present. The things today are all you have. Learn to appreciate it. Be thankful on that sunny day to be able to feel the sun on your skin. For the people you have in your life right now. Enjoy the conversation and company they bring. Appreciate every single day, and accept what comes your way. Whether you're going to school, working, etc: treat everything with significance and meaning. Love the little things.

My element.

The first week of my Spring semester is over. This week flew by so fast. I have a feeling that Spring 2012 will too. My major is Cross-cultural studies. This involves a little bit of economics, psychology, sociology, and political science. You study how people act throughout different cultures. I'm going to use this major to be a missionary. My minor is Psychology. Love love love it. So I love something about all of my classes.  First is Interpreting the Bible. Surprisingly, my professor is also a member of my church. Unfortunately, this doesn't earn me any brownie points. This class involves reading a book and learning a lot of new terms. But I love it because it really makes you think and prove your point during arguments. Second, I have the World of Caesar and Christ. This class involves a TON of reading. Courtesy of the honors program. The book is really interesting and poetic, so I don't really mind the reading. The Aeneid shows the worldview of the Romans and Greeks. Somehow, my professor is able to make their worldview relate to ours. Third, I'm taking Piano I. Piano is my favorite instrument to play. I want to get to a point to where I can just read music and play it. That way I can use it to play praise and worship music. Now that would be awesome. Fourth is Foundations for Christian Ministry. This is by far my favorite class. My professor was a missionary. He talks about some of his different trips. He really makes us learn about ourselves and challenges us to see things from a different perspective. Something he's great at is reminding us that we all want to do ministry. Just some things he talks about makes me realize how much growing I still have left. If you're going to be involved in ministry, you need to realize that your actions are going to have a lot of effects on other people. People are going to look to you for guidance and ask you questions. You need to be a leader and have answers. Fifth, I have Personality Theories. It's a psych class, and I'm not too fond of it yet. Hoping it gets better. Lastly, I have Writing About Literature. Not too fond of this class either. :p

Something amazing happened today. I mentioned in a previous blog that I want to be actively involved in ministry this semester. Well....... I got an internship!! So excited. My internship is going to be with First Baptist Church. They need someone to help out with the daycare center. There's about 50-80 kids. They come from all different backgrounds. My main job is to build relationships with the kids and get to know them. Eventually, I'll be the one leading chapel for them. I'm so stoked! Also, once a week I will be conducting surveys of what the parents think about the daycare. This will be done house by house. This gives us an opportunity to see who wants to get more involved in the church. It's pretty much a local missions field. Even thinking about reaching out to these people makes me all jittery and giddy. 

The main point of this is to get experience in ministry. It's going to make me develop more leadership skills and challenge my teaching skills. Also, I'm going to have to keep myself in check spiritually. I can't allow myself to slack spiritually. If I do, then it will effect others negatively. This is such a great chance for me to grow. It will help me focus on what's important and to get my priorities straight. I want to do ministry more than anything. It's my element. It's where I find the most joy. I'm happier doing ministry than I am anywhere else. I start my internship next Thursday :)

Angels unawares.

Yesterday I had a very interesting encounter with a woman. Here's the story.

My classes are done for the day and I'm on my way to the gym. On the way to my car to get my gym clothes, there was a woman who passed me on a bike. She stopped, got my attention, and asked me if I could help her. This woman looked like she was maybe in her late forties. She was very tan, a bit frail, and weathered. Her voice was timid when she had asked for help. So of course I would help her if I could. She said she needed help getting groceries. I didn't know if she meant she needed money to buy groceries or a ride to carry groceries. I offered her the few dollars I had but she called me a sweetheart and said no thank you. Her and I walked for a few minutes just talking. She asked if I went to PBA and whether or not I live on campus. Just trying to make small talk. I still couldn't get it off my mind that she needed help and I couldn't help her. So I asked her for her name. Her name is Deborah, and I shook her hand. Then I told her my name is Stephanie. I pulled out a PBA business card. They're white and the backs of them are blank. I wrote my first name and cell number on the back of it. I told her to call me if she ever needs help. Also, that if I can't help her then I'm a part of a local church that has ways of helping people who need it. She had a good smile and said thank you. We waved bye. Deborah was just so sweet. She was out of sight by the time I had gotten my clothes.

This whole experience might seem either trivial or silly once I explain it. But that's okay. It just reminded me that we're meant to help people in any way possible if we can. I couldn't help Deborah today, but maybe there will be a time when she does need help. She has my number and can call. She has an option now to ask someone for help. Now she knows that someone does care. This reminded me of a verse.

"Forget not to show love unto strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares."
Hebrews 13:2 

If someone ever asks you for help, and you have the power to help them, please do so. You never know who may be asking.

Back to School. Yayyyy

Today's the first day back to PBA. I'm excited to see how my classes will go. This semester is going to be different than last semester. I'm going to get more focused on school and put forth more effort. Especially with the ministry and volunteering part. I want to go to chapel but not because I feel obligated to. Last semester I had my head in the clouds most days. Either I was tired and worn out, or running off of caffeine and stressed out. There was always something to do and somewhere to be. I had no real sense of direction and put time into things that weren't as important as I thought. Something I'm going to work on this semester is time management. One of my Christmas presents was a daytime planner. Thanks mom! Also, I'm going to wake up earlier every day and have morning quiet time & coffee.

"Pay careful attention, then, to how you walk--not as unwise people but as wise-- making the most of the time because the days are evil." Ephesians 5: 15-16

There was one significant thing I got from reading these verses. Our days are numbered. No matter who we are. So each day we have should be lived wisely. The choices I make today, even the trivial little choices, are going to reflect where I am in my Christian walk. A lot of Christians do some pretty "un-Christian" things. Our excuse is usually "well I'm young" as if that justifies some of our choices.

I'm guilty of using that excuse too to get out of some of my responsibilities. I've used it to justify some of my poor choices last semester. "Well I'm young so God will understand and just forgive me." Even at a Christian college, it's hard to keep my focus on God at times. This semester I plan on having a better focus. I don't want to only be concerned about His bigger will for my life. I also want to be looking for His will in my everyday life. Whether it's helping someone in need or complaining less and being more thankful.

New Year!

First thing's first...... HAPPY NEW YEAR! :)


This New Year has been absolutely amazing so far. It has gotten off to a great start. I got to go to Alabama for a Winter Retreat with Mud Ministry. This was the perfect escape that I needed oh so badly. It was the one chance I had to get away from my everyday life and self-reflect. 2012 is here and along with the New Year came some big decisions I had to make.

One thing that majorly conflicted me was whether or not I wanted to join the National Guard. The pros had outweighed the cons. It would pay for the rest of college. There would be some major character building and I would learn a sense of independence. I would get paid and could save up. I would learn self-defense and never be a damsel in distress. Yet, this retreat had showed me what truly mattered. There would have been a high price to pay if I had decided to join the National Guard. My summer with Mud Ministry would be gone. This is my second year being involved with Mud. The thought of not being at the camps had terrified me. At this retreat, I got to be a camp counselor. That was so awesome. I loved being there for these girls. It was a privilege to even pray for them. How could I give this up for something I would consider a second job? The National Guard plan was kicked to the curb. My heart is with ministry. More specifically, it's with Mud Ministry.

Secondly, I decided to abstain from dating for a year. As of now, it's been six months. That seems like a silly decision to some people. But it wasn't made impulsively. The main reason is to take this time and find out  where I am in my Christian walk and to build my relationship up with God before I get into another serious relationship. I've noticed that I get distracted from God when I'm in a relationship. So this whole year time span is meant to be dedicated to God. Over the summer, I symbolically wrote "momentous relationships" on my rock and tossed it in the lake (It was something done at the Mud Camps).  That was supposed to symbolize something I wanted to purge out of my life. I really plan on sticking with this. During the summer of 2012, I don't want any negative distractions. My heart will be focused solely on the Ministry right in front of me.

Also, I've really learned the meaning of patience. About what it means to wait for God's will instead of pursuing after my own will. After I made the commitment to abstain from dating for a year, it made me think about the kind of person I want to be with. In June 2011, I had prayed for a few things. That the next relationship would be the kind that lasts. Really lasts. That we would become best friends for awhile before we even dated. Most importantly, that he wouldn't just be a Christian but also have a passion for ministry. This is worth waiting for, and I will definitely know when it comes my way. :)

My main focus this semester is to be actively involved in ministry. Mud Ministry is going to be opening up full-time positions. I would be a complete dumbdumb if I didn't jump at this opportunity. That's a little ways down the road. I am definitely going to be committed to being with Mud during the summer. Meanwhile, there's an opportunity for me to get involved with a ministry at a local church. It involves working with teens. The semester starts January 9th and I'll know for sure how I'm going to be involved here.

2012 is unfolding wonderfully so far. I can't wait to see what's in store. My main goal for this year is to be involved with ministry more. That's my heart's passion. That's my calling. I don't want anything to distract me or get in the way of it. This is my prayer for 2012:

"Please make me selfless so that I may put Your desires before mine. Give me the courage that I may speak boldly for You and give me the patience to put aside my will so I may live in Yours." Amen :)