....♥?

Today when I was talking with one of my friends, she asked me what I thought love was.... I immediately responded with "God is love." That seems like a no brainer to me. I kind of feel that people have made it into a simple catch phrase. Do you know what it really means that God is love? Let's dig a little deeper.

1 John 4:8

^"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."

Have you ever had a really close friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, or family member that always seems find a way to hurt you? They always manage to do something. It might be lying to you or ignoring you. It might be not spending time with you. They might have even done something to lose your trust. Whatever the case is, you gave them love and you feel like they didn't return it. Somehow, some way, they hurt you and things will never be the same. I wonder how you reacted and treated them afterwards. Did you shun them or forgive them? We hurt God some of the same ways that others hurt us. Yet He loves us unconditionally. Even after we hurt Him, He still wants us to be His. In my eyes, THAT is love: Loving someone regardless of their follies.<3

So when you tell someone you love them, I hope you know what you're truly saying. You're really saying you love them despite their mistakes or screw ups. You love them the way God loves you. Once you know the unconditional love of God, NOTHING can ever take that away from you.

 "And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. ³⁹ No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

Peace in a Medley of Emotions.

I debated just writing a poem about it. Right now I'm feeling a medley of emotions so I don't have the time or patience...

Yesterday my mom went over to my aunt's house to get a few things. Not even being there for five minutes, my mom witnessed my aunt have a seizure. Such a terrifying experience. I don't know what I would've done. I probably would've wanted to freeze up. My mom did the smart thing and called 911. Still, seeing someone that close to you in this kind of condition... That memory will never go away.

I'm really learning to trust God with everything, in every situation, whether it is extreme or trivial. Sometimes I veer away from Him for a little while, but He is always there with me. It's not something one can explain with words. Either you know the all encompassing feeling of His presence, or you don't. If you don't, then I genuinely hope you find it. I cannot imagine getting through some things if God had not been my rock. He is always my inspiration for moving forward. I always have some sense of hope that things will get better. Even when the outcome doesn't look so good, I always have this inner peace that everything will turn out for the best.

"You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.
Trust in the Lord forever,
For in YAH, the Lord, is everlasting strength."  Isaiah 26:3-4

Please pray for my aunt, my mom, and the rest of my family.

Tarnished.

Swift to forget Your blessing,
hesitant to answer Your call,
and slow to start confessing
how badly sin makes me fall.

My face remains hidden
and this heart stays sealed.
With life lived as a midden,
may a tarnished soul be healed?

By grace, they say,
all of my errors and iniquity
can be washed away.
Oh, the overwhelming possibility!

Looking past my transgressions
and into my unworthy heart,
You love me without condition
and view me as Your work of art.

Embrace.

Wow. WHAT A WEEK. I'm so happy and content lately that I almost feel overwhelmed.

I've had blessings fall out of the sky and right into my lap. I've got a new '93 Ford Taurus. Soon I can drive her. Just have to tweak some things. She's almost as old as I am. I HAVE A NEW BIKE. I absolutely love bike riding. It's one of my favorite things to do in the entire world. It's one of the only places I'm completely relaxed without any anxiety. It frees my mind. I can bike ride for hours on end. My old bike broke almost a year ago. My lovely mom and Aunt Denise surprised me with it. Speaking of my mom.... you are such a blessing. Our relationship means so much to me. I can't tell you how much. I finally have what I've wanted since I was eleven years old. <3

As a person I feel myself growing. Of course people grow. It sounds silly at first. But I feel like my eyes have been opened to see so much more. I feel like it's easier to love people. Even if we don't agree on things or we clash. I'm ready for what the rest of the summer is going to bring. I'm ready for college and it's challenges. I'm ready to be there for my friends whenever they need me. I'm ready to fall on my face if I need to and turn to God when everything overwhelms me. Let me remind you of something. I never used to be like this. I used to want to run and hide from God and change and the future. With time and faith though, I've accepted new challenges and change. Even the painful change. I know that whatever comes my way, whether it blesses me or makes me suffer, God is my rock and my sanity and what holds me together. Better yet, He makes me complete. With Him, I can embrace anything and thrive while doing so.

Time is a River.

I always feel like I have so much to say or so much to write about. But then I go forever without writing. I'm going to try and set more time aside to write. LOL maybe people will read it more. I'm going to write about an observation I've made.

Sooooooo today I found out that my mom was in the hospital. She got into some sort of bike accident and ended up fracturing her leg. I went to visit her and made sure she was okay. My Nana came too. She's the closest thing I've ever really had to a grandma. We all talked for a few hours. I learned a lot about my Nana. Until recently, I haven't been seeing or communicating with my mom or my Nana that often. It's been kind of on and off for the past few years. Lately though, we've been spending time together at random. Over the years I have forgotten the importance of family. I've missed that feeling of closeness with people other than friends.

Ever since I've gotten home from the Alabama trip, I was kinda bummed. I knew that when I came home I would have to deal with a lot of change. I really extremely badly wanted to stay in Alabama for another three weeks with my Mud Family. With them I always feel welcome and there's never really any turmoil. If there is, then they deal with it in a loving way. That's one reason I absolutely love all of them. I kinda begrudged coming home and was whiny towards God. I wanted something and He told me no. Now I understand why. If I had stayed in Alabama like I wanted, then I would have missed out on a lot of things here at home. I wouldn't have been there for my mom. I probably wouldn't have had the chance to get close with my Nana either. I wouldn't have been able to spend any time with my brother, who I haven't seen for over a month. Even though things didn't go the way I had wanted, everything turned out fine and better than I thought. I'm really thankful for the time I've got to have with the people I love.

There's definitely a moral to the story. I'll tell you just in case you haven't picked it up yet :) If things had gone in my timing, then I would be in Alabama right now. I would have missed out on important events. Luckily, things didn't go in my timing. Rather, everything in my life is happening in God's timing. I might be impatient and question why I have to wait, but it's always better that way. No matter what or how long you have to wait, listen and be watchful for what God is saying. Don't be whiny and moan and groan and complain. There's always a purpose. So for the time being, be patient and persistent. Don't give up because things aren't going according to your will or how you thought everything would turn out. The most important thing is to have faith that He will always take care of you and make sure things fall properly and perfectly into place. Even if it's not the way you expected ;)

Habakkuk 2:3

³ For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end
and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it will certainly come
and will not delay.

lukewarm.

Today the message was about what it means to be a lukewarm Christian. Have you ever seen those people who claim to be Christian but they don't live a very Christian life? Doing good works alone isn't enough to get you to heaven. Faith without works is useless. Why say you believe in something if you don't follow your own beliefs? God doesn't want your leftovers. He wants ALL of you.

Today was the first day of camp. It was kind of hectic. The teens here are great. They're close. It's nice seeing new faces and having the chance to get to know new people. I get to reconnect with people that I haven't seen in a long time. Probably a year or longer. I'm not a counselor because I'm not eighteen yet (SIX MONTHS!!), but I do get to help out and I do help run the camp still. I hope God uses me to affect one person this week. I want to really get to know someone and be the one person they needed to talk with.

I miss everyone at home. But I'm so ecstatic to be here. I don't want any distractions. When I'm here right now, I feel like I can breathe. I feel so close to God. It's hard for me to feel like that throughout the entire year. Sometimes I feel like no matter how loud I talk, no one is listening. Here, when I'm with God, I know He's listening and He cares. My biggest prayer is that when I get home I can keep this feeling and that it doesn't fade.

On a positive note, my dad said I got a letter from my sponser child (Mercy)!!! I can't wait to reply. I want to meet this little girl so much. At least I know I'm making a postive difference in her life even though she lives half way around the world.

stalemate.

soooo it's been awhile since I've written a blog. There's a reason for that. I haven't really had much to write about. I feel like I've just been in this rut that I can't get out of. I guess I can just call it a stalemate. I feel like I haven't really been doing much for God these past two months. That thought really bothers me, so I'm going to change it. I have to.

Right now I'm in Alabama. I'm hosting a camp with Mud Ministry. It's a refuel camp for teens. Kind of like a Christian revival. Not just for them, but for the mudlets and camp staff too. I'll be here in Alabama for two weeks. I'm hoping to learn a lot. I really want to feel like I've accomplished something by being here. Even if it was smiling at someone who was feeling down. I want to feel like I'm making a difference somehow. I'll try writing as much as I can the next two weeks. 

Even though I miss everyone at home, I'm really excited to be here. I know God has a lot in store for me the next two weeks. The people here are amazing. The kids that come here are amazing. I love seeing people come together from so many different walks of life. No matter where we've been or where we're going, we're all here to worship the God we love and want to live for.